Sunday, August 7, 2011

Pocket of Pretension

First and foremost, I would like to wish a super de dooper Happy Birthday to my friend Annie.  She is a rockstar.  I would also like to wish my friend Jessie and fantasmerific birthday as well.  She is a champion.  What is most weird is that they do not know each other, yet have both left the cozy nook of South Eastern Wisconsin to attend post-undergrad on the east coast...in the same city.  Personally, I think they should be friends.

Mike Johnson, who is my very favorite submarine hero, is also having a birthday today.  I am sending a head butt full of love to you for your birthday.

And the always remarkable, incredibly loving, fearlessly caring mentor, Julie Massey is also celebrating a birthday.  Wow, August seventh has been a busy day.  Phew!

On a completely unrelated note: Pretension is is annoying.  This comes from a completely pretentious party: me.

I was teaching summer school English 9, to all those students who didn't love it the first time around, and a college student came in to observe the lesson.  His skinny jeans cuffed, and plaid shirt rolled, the first thing out of his mouth is about Proust.  Immediately, I flashback to the critically acclaimed show Gilmore Girls and Lorelai shouting about Proust and how pretentious then fiancee Max was.

I pulled myself back to the classroom and commented, "Oh, I have never read him."

To which Cuffs McGee responds, "What?! Oh, you've got to. His prose is fascinating and development is--

"Let me see where Proust fits into this curriculum.  Ah, yes, right here between S.E. Hinton and Harper Lee. I think those authors would bookend Proust nicely.  What do you think, Cuffs?"

It is at that point when pretension become annoying.  Pretension and pretentious acts, however, can be fine.  One example is when you're the youngest guest at a dinner party, and the other guests jammer about politics and religion as if they're experts.  You can  seclude yourself in your own pocket of pretension fully aware that you are the most learned person there.  Only douchecanoes assume they are the smartest person in the room. In this situation, dear friends, feel free to toss in a snarky remark to remind those other guests that they are being pompous and condescending.  You, dear friends, know how to be the right kind of pretentious--rain boots and all.*


*Please refer to the poem "Pretentious Rain Boots" not yet published or written by K.M. Bots

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