So, I came to a very important realization today

It was that everybody, absolutely everybody looks like a drunken sailor on the bus.  You could be the most austere gentleman, an eight month pregnant woman, or even a strapping young student.  You will still look like you are 3/4 of the way in the bag, and there is nothing you can do about it.  EXCEPT! You can pray to whatever God in which you believe (or the trees/grass/Bob Marley, whatever) that there is a seat open close to the front so you do not have to stumble through the bus as it lurches forward in its ever changing waves.  You can also hope that someone will take pity on you, but that is a doubtful scenario, and you will just be setting yourself up for failure.  Like Stephenie Meyer. Or the Hindenburg.